what would you do for a klondike bar?
by crazy person alert
Summary: what would aro and emmet do for klondike bars? WE WILL FIND OUT! now complete. epilouge in Jasper pov!
1. Chapter 1

**To be honest I fid these commercials weird, but add in the stupidity of Emmett and Aro, and then it gets funny. Either ways if you dislike humor GO AWAY just -sobs- go . . . away. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own date movie, twilight, Klondike bars or snap crackle pop.**

**Jasper pov**

Aro was visiting Emmett his and I quote, gangster skillet. We were watching this gay movie called Date movie and they were laughing so hard they would have died if they had to breathe.

Then there was a commercial about an ice cream bar and Aro stops and sits perfectly erect, like a horror movie zombie, licks his lips and says: "I need a Klondike bar!!! Need!!!!"

Emmet follows his creeptacular (Jacob quote) sitting and replies: "I would do some crazy things for a Klondike bar."

And a scheme was born.

"I'll buy you guys each a ice cream bar thing if you do what I say." Their heads snap towards me and they say, in unison

"What do you WANT!!!!!!!!?" Aro shouldn't visit any more.

"Go to target hide behind small kids and elderly ladies. Say that the guys on the cereal boxes plan to eat you. I will accompany you." They nod like this is normal.

We then run to Target and Aro hides behind a crying three year old. He stops crying and says

"Why are you hiding mistew?"

"The cereal people. They aren't like you and me. They want to eat the meat of my bones."

His eyes go huge. "Which ones?" He whispers.

"Them!" He points to Snap Crackle and Pop. Now the little kid looks at them and bursts out crying. Now that I have successfully blocked out everyone else's feelings I find that that was hilarious!!!! I do feel sorry for the kid though. I try not to focus on downers.

Aro prances over and asks "Where is the KLONDIKE BAR!!!!!!" I point at Emmett and he starts screaming that he better get a move on or else there will be no treats. Emmett looked like if he could cry he would. This was priceless.

**Please review!!!! I need reviews!! They are my Klondike Bars!!! Big love and ice cream treats crazy person alert**


	2. nooo not the rabit

**I own no twilight and if I did Jake would be with Leah and Bella and Edward would live together appy 4eva!!!!!!I also dont own umm TARGET yeah target or the cherrio bee or dentatures or trix.**

**EMPOV**

I must have ice cream.I must have ice cream. I must have ice cream.I must have ice cream.

There is my victem!!!!!!! An old lady has a cherrio box and is looking for the serving size. I run over and fling it out of her hands. She screams out in suprise and her dentures fell out. She realized all I was was terrified by the cereal box. Then she started to comfort me.

"Shhhh. It's O.K. I won't let it hurt you. Shhhhhhhhhh."

"Really?" I asked like I wasn't sure.

"Yes" she whispered like she was afraid of speaking to loud. Psh to late lady.

" Bu-but they hunger for my flesh."

"No it's O.K."

"O.K., but watch out. That crazy rabbit looks like he's more hungry for flesh then Trix!!!"

"I will." she promised. She was nice.

I walked back over to Jazz, he was hysterical laughing. I looked at him. He knew what I wanted.

"Now go buy pink feathery boas and tap dance outside while throwing sequins at people." He told us. ANYTHING for thew Klondike bar. ANYTHING!!!


	3. ohh snapple ice tea they di'nt

**I rue the fact that I don't own twilight. Wait do I -checks front of twilight and sounds out authors name-. Nope not me. oh well. I also don't own the Macarana!**

**aro pov**

I can't tap dance!!! Wait -faint tick tock noise- "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!" Jasper and my home skillet give me weird looks. "Didn't you you hear the noise?" they shake their heads "I'm not crazy!!!! Oh I and I can't tap dance."

Jasper thinks for a minute then says " Well if you add a sombrero you outfit then you may do the Macarana instead." O.K. fair enough. Home skillet and I buy the stuff. Home skillet is to long to think(AN and type!!!). HE IS NOW HS!!! Then I tell him so. Then we change and start our dance. This sombrero looks GREAT with my cloak which goes good with these sunglasses HS gave me. GO TINKERBELL!!!!!

People were laughing at us. As well as Jasper, that was OK seeing as that was his result to others finding us funny. I just sounded smart. Toothpaste. Those other guys were sooo rude!!!!

" Your being Mean. MEANIES!!!! MEANIES!!!! MEANIES!!!! MEANIES!!!! That's right I went there." I snapped my fingers in Z- formation, swung my hips and did THE neck thing. In there fiz-aces (AN me and my sisters do that all the time. were hilarious)!! OH. " NOW go away so we can do the Macarana in peace!!!!" and we did for two straight days. Jasper was there laughing the whole time.

**alice pov**

I got the funniest vision ever. Emmet bande Aro were doing the Macarana wearing sombraros and boas. Never. Hearing. The. End. !!!!!

**thanks for reading. please no anonomys reveiws. I can't comment on comments/credit ideas if I have no idea who you are. And I will never steal your ideas. NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. FINALY

**LIST OF THINGS I DON'T OWN**

**genie in a bottle- Cristina augliara**

**twilight**

**the macarana**

**vw bugs**

**Barbie Girl (thank God -ooh I don't own him either- -does sign of cross-)**

**Klondike bars**

**U & UR hands**

**itsy bitsey spider**

**can't touch this**

**Mission Impossible**

**The fresh Prince of Bel air theme song**

**DANG what do I own?**

Jpov

They were still doing the Macarana!!!!! People found them HILARIOUS! It was Sunday and we had to go because of school. All good things must end. Then again. . .

"OK guys we have school in" I checked my watch "2 hours. We gots to move. I have decided to make this a competition, because inspiration hit. You each have 2 Klondike Bars so far. You both get Klondike Bars so it's not only one person. You will first were a tutu to school. Aro you are going to school as our guest. If anyone laughs tell them not to dis the fairy princess. It will also be sunny through the clouds so you will faintly glitter, though not enough for attention. Every time the announcements go off will scream for the voices to stop. Any questions?"

No questioms, but one MAD Emmet.

"No you crazy moron! WHY the heck would we do this???? NO!! Just give us our flipping Klondike bars NOW be-yotch!!!!!!!!"

That was scary. I haven't seen him this angry since Edward told him saying the song Barbie Girl was gay was an insult to Zac Efron.

"Now you will take us home as fast as your gay car can carry us and get us some Klondike Bars!!! That is, if you _care _about Baggles McBaggsworth!" Nooooooooo not my Man Purse!! And _where _he get off calling my pink VW bug GAY??????

"Fine" I say quietly. He smirks. Aro is swatting at an invisible fly.

Empov

I am tired of his crud. I just want a FLIPPING KLONDIKE BAR!!!!!! The ride home was quiet. Good I thought. It was uneventful . . . UNTIL BARBIE GIRL CAME ON THE RADIO!!!!!!!! You know Barbie girl AKA the best song. EVA!!! Better then the itsy bitsy spider probably. So Aro and I sung.

_I'm a Barbie Girl_

_in my barbie WO-O-ORLD_

Then Jasper shut of the station to a CD of his and Alice's favorites. Genie in a Bottle came on. Why does Edward always run away when this is on? Oh well. Then I glared and glared and glared. Then finally I shut"GLARE!!!" and Jazzy jumps. Jazzy jumps. Alliterations are fun!

"What?"

"Barbie. Girl." I growl. This is fun!!! He reaches for the dail, but we're already home. Aro and I skip out, humming the tune to Pinks U & Ur Hands. Another fave!!!! We go into the kitchen and fetch out bibs with lobsters on them. Yup. We got class. So Jasper sighs and takes two Klondike bars out of the freezer.

Then Edward and Bella come down the stairs. Edward looks at us. Then at the ice cream on our Dora plates. Then Bella starts laughing hysterically and Edward says: "Did it occur to either of you that you can't eat people food?" Damn the one error in our master plan!!!! Oh well there SUPPOSED to taste good.

"ESMEEEE" Edward called. Crud. "EMMETT CURSED IN HIS HE-AD!!!Great. Esme made a list of when we swear and by telling her when we think them, he is immune. DON DUN-NA NA DA DUN-NA NU NU NA- CANT TOUCH HIM- DUN DUN-NA NU DUN-NA NA NA NA NA -CEPT BELLA-. K I'm done.

She ran in in camo, shouted " Got'em" scribbled something in a little book and ran away humming Mission Impossible.

"Yes, yes it did." says Aro. Then he jumps on the table and shouts "BUT THERE'S A DISEASE CALLED DON'T CARE AND WE GOT THE FEVA!!!!!" That's why I love Aro. Not romantically, but look at that hair . . .

HA HA Edward threw up!! "Emmett . . . that was. . . the MOST . . .disturbing. . .thought . . ever!" then he threw up again.

"Sowwy Eddie" I said

"Don't call me Eddie!" Mental Note- call him Edwardo.

Then I realized the ice cream was gunna melt!!! "Aro! WE have to eat the ice cream!! Before it melts!!!"

"Don't pressure me!!!!"

"I will unless you eat the ice cream!"

"NO!"

"Why?"

"Your pressuring me!"

Then Bella shouted "Just eat the freaking ice cream already! Jeez! Not that hard to eat ice cream is it? No? Didn't think so!"

"Wow Edward your girlfriends got spunk" Aro said.

"You know it, chica!" Bella then high fived and fist pounded Aro, then he air kissed her cheek and Edwardo, as he has now been dubbed, ripped him limb from limb.

"That might cause some vandettas." said Bella after a pause.

"I shotty his Klondike Bar!" I then ran back to defend my property and then scarfed them down. I felt sick. Next thin I know a puke-coated Rose is chasing me.

**EPILOGUE**

I was just listening to my MP3 when something happened and music formed with reality

o

o

o

_In the South_

_Bitten and raised_

_Battle fields where I spent most of days_

_Chillin and relaxin Em-my bro_

_When a commerical that was up to no good_

_started making trouble in my living room_

_only aired once but Emmett said_

_"Hey Jazz could we go out to get some domino's?"_

_No-No-No_

Hmmm deja vu is weird

___________________

**Sorry I didn't write much lately, been going through some stuff at home. My brother has a mild form of autism and my parents neglected to mention it to me for NINE YEARS!!!!!! So I found out and was in a sorta state of shock, but then a book I read called Rules snapped me out of it and I cried during school and every one asked me if I was OK and I just wanted to say 'Do I look like the one with autism? Didn't think so!' But this happened a while ago and this was my outlet . . . then it wasn't. BUT IM BACK!!! Either way thnx for reading my rant and my story. Please review.**

**bye**


	5. AN and pointless storylet

**Yes this is only an author's note, but I might put a plottless, storylet at the bottom.**

**I was thinking of doing a sequel, but I did't know if you guys want one. Do you? I don't know if you want one. You have to review or pm or **

**whatever, if you want a sequel. I'm good either way. Less typing for me. Suggestions, are welcome. **

**Now, the promised story-let**

Once upon a time a 17 year old girl, named Isabella but liked to be called Bella, read a book called Twilight. She called her best friend Edward and then he read it and they laughed. Little did she know . . . EDWARD WAS A VAMPIRE!!! Then Rosalie decided she knew to much and ate her in a creamy ranch sauce with a side of fries. This made Edward mad and he ripped her in to little pieces and through them into the fire. This made Emmet made and Emmet threw Edward into the fire to. Then the Cullens moved, THE END!!!!

**I own nothing, but PLEASE TELL ME WHETHER YOU WANT A SEQUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	6. ANOTHER an & storylet, b4 u atakCQUAL

**BEFORE YOU REGARD THE CHAPTER TITLE, THERES ONLY SO MUCH ROOM TO WRITE, THEREFORE, BAD GRAMMER!**

**OKALY DOKALY ME AMORES (THAT IS SPANISH FOR 'MY LOVES') I GOSTA SEQUEL UP!!!**

**i DON'T KNOW IF YOU READ ALREADY, BUT I THINK THAT ITS**

**KINDA FUNNY. THE MAIN CHARACTERS **

**ARE NOW EDWARD ****AND ****BELLA.**

**BELLAS ****NOT A VAMP**

**THIS LOOKS **

**LIKE **

**A **

**TRIANGLE!!!!**

**DARN IT!!! EITHER WAY, PLEASE READ!! NOW A STORYLET, BECAUSE I HATE, THE SOLELY ANS!!!!**

Edward and Bella were curled up on the couch, when Bella asked: "Edward, why do you love me?"

"Bella I love you because you are beautiful, smart, kind and just so silly. You love me despite what I am. You are the moon in my sky. The sun of my life. The only reason I carry out my day. If you were to suddenly disappear then my entire existence would be missing you. You, my belle Bella, are the cheese to my macaroni. Why do you love me?" touched my the monolouge Bella could only murmur, to low for vamptastic hearing to hear. "What, love?"

She answered a bit louder: "To make Jake jealous."


End file.
